I’m so thankful my doctor is a praying man. My routine visit, was held, for the first time, over the phone, due to the constraints of the Corona virus. We spoke of family, his and mine. The corona virus came up in the conversation. He said his wife was worried; and he was taking every precaution not to bring it home to his family. Their office is operating with a skeleton crew in these unsure times.
These unsure times have found me on the horns of dilemma. According to Collin’s Dictionary, that means this. “If you are on the horns of a dilemma, you have to choose between two things, both of which are unpleasant or difficult.”
I’m not sure if that describes the situation adequately. But it comes close.
I find myself between choosing to believe God will protect; yet, I’m also listening to the doom and gloom prophecy of the media. I am disappointed in myself, ashamed, when I find myself listening to the media more than the promises of my Savior.
I know the media tactics. They seem to thrive on tragedy, heartache and fear. They can’t wait to tell us how many people have tested positive; sometimes even, it seems, to sensationalize reports of the deaths. Rarely have I read about the folks who, though they contracted the virus, have recovered. I want to know both sides; not just the grievous.
As I write this, I’m thinking about my friend Barbie here at the Prospect News. I hope she isn’t offended, but I can understand that she might be. What the media should be about is reporting the facts, as I believe, our local newspaper does. Just the facts. Not prophesying the end of the world as we know it.
All of this is just a roundabout way of saying I’m disappointed that I’ve allowed fear to triumph over my professed faith.
I’m surprised at me, and oh so disappointed. I don’t recognize this doubter.
Am I the same woman who allowed a Head Start child, who was ill, continue to throw up on me, just so I could comfort him? I knew he got little comfort at home. What happened to the Becky who helped a loving foster Mom pick the lice nits out of her children’s hair on her front porch, without a regard to herself at all?
I listened to my doctor saying he prayed every day for the end of this virus. He also advised me to take every precaution.
These days, I’m asking God to illuminate my path, examine my heart, humble me, and calm a troubled soul.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10