Give Boredom a Chance

It was a gradual thing, unchaining myself from Walmart, the reverse to developing an addiction to roaming the aisles mindlessly whether or not I purchased anything. Early on it was to me what a smartphone is now - the device we reach for when we feel boredom settling in.

Boredom gets a bad rap; its definition doesn’t help. First it’s subjective; we all experience it differently. A lack of stimulation or losing interest in a task at hand might panic some wanting to avoid feeling stuck in a rut with a stopped clock. What if it opened the door to anxiety and depression, especially if current situations contrast significantly from expectations? Mental health could take a hit.

So we take quick action to keep boredom away. For me, Walmart served a dual purpose. One-stop shopping plus connections: impromptu chats with folks I’d run into, getting a burger and enjoying an outing with my child. It became a thing to travel farther on weekends to see what a ‘new’ Walmart had to offer. On a night out, it was a stop on the way home because it was in the neighborhood.

Managing boredom is key in managing mental health. That’s important - managing versus avoiding. Bodies need rest from crammed schedules and brains need breaks from constant stimulation tech devices provide. Boredom allows a mind to wander, consider new ideas, take on a new challenge. Thinking and doing nothing at all surprises us with bursts of creativity and problem solving. Introducing kids to it could benefit us all down the line.

Retirement reduced my need for ‘stuff’ so Walmart excursions were reduced, too. New experiences provided connections and stimulation I needed.(Not to forget I’m surrounded by Dollar Generals, so there’s that). Then the pandemic hit. Unlimited free time and boredom that outlasted its welcome - the ultimate disconnect between reality and expectations - took a toll, a greater one than I realized.

Until a few days ago I had not circled the lot for a handy parking space or walked through those automatic doors since Covid came to call. Fear and anxiety kept me away. Could I control my spending? Would I be safe? Would it be crowded? What if I had a panic attack? Would I wind up a nervous wreck?

Yes, I controlled my spending, buying only what I intended, not roaming through other departments for no reason. I felt safe, avoiding busy aisles on the way to my destination. Some wore masks; I respect whatever their reasons. Going on a Saturday was not the way to stay out of a crowd, but the timing was unavoidable. I didn’t have a panic attack and I found my car just fine. I even saw security driving around.

At first I was puzzled by the tears that came as I settled into the driver’s seat. In retrospect, they were tears of relief for a return of normalcy. I’ve missed you, Walmart. I’ll be seein’ ya more often now but not as an escape from boredom.